Charles de Gaulle Airport

July 2, 2008

"I'm more tired than I realize, I think. Maybe I'll feel better once I'm in South Africa.

"I met all of the team, and like them a lot - Nicole, a gymnast at Stanford; Cody, water polo at Stanford; Zach and Dane, brothers at NorthEastern University; Jasmine; Sarah [lacrosse]; Brett, Corey, children Jonah and Christine Ogburn; Katy; Alisha; Alicia; Domino.

"But the sadness - I'm not feeling very confident right now. All but two or so of these students are athletes, in one sport or another. They have workouts and programs to do while in South Africa. (Some of these kids would not have come if they had qualified for the Olympics) While that might seem to be a nuisance, I want it. I feel like I missed my oportunity to do college athletics.

"It doesn't help my feeling of separation from all of these confident Christians that I don't know any of them. All of them seem to know at least a few other people; and there are two main groups (Stanford and [Boston]). No wait, I shouldn't put it like that - everyone is very welcoming and there are no exclusionary groups - they just know each other already, that's all. It didn't help that I sat by myself last flight, and will probably for the next one.

"Oh, one of the girls was on the phone crying when we left, so after she calmed down I told her I was praying for her, and I did. This is something I learned from one of my friends - it is such a help when you are down just to know that someone cares. I wish someone would do that for me now. I went on a walk in the Paris airport trying to think but it was pointless, and I wandered back..."

Yea, I was feeling pretty down when I wrote this. I felt outclassed by all these amazing students and Christians and athletes whom I didn't know very well. The only bright spot was cheering someone else up. But don't worry, the trip gets better :)